Alright, sorry. I know this is getting old for everyone. I'm just going to have to force myself here. I have the whole day off I need to sit down and write this out.

I'm 22 today. My big day of the year. All to myself. I even took the day off from work. I know how selfish, right? I mostly needed a time to coalesce my thoughts.

The big updates of my life. For the past 5-6 months I have been working at Albertsons here on Mercer Island. I am a customer service clerk. I handle all the drudgery of life in customer support. I'm still broke, however.

I also recently got my driver's permit and am proceeding to scare my mother into an early grave. She once drove off a 60 foot embankment in college so she has seen fit to be scared when someone else is driving. It makes it rather interesting when I have to change three lanes on the freeway to make an exit and she goes into an epileptic seizure. I admit that a bit of an exaggeration, but as my friend Zanduin can relate, he does "fear her driving", so I guess even at worst case I'm helping the betterment of society by keeping our roads safe of deranged mothers...

Besides this I'm still barren in the date department. Still looking, but have now only gone on two dates in my life.

Had to reformat my compy again. If I haven't already told you guys, which I doubt I have. I got a new computer. A laptop. Killer compy. I also started to draw again. Haven't had the mental fortitude in the past couple of days to draw. I haven't had a chance to draw since then...Did go to see a Nightwish Concert here in Seattle at the Showbox. It was OK. I admit I'm a bigger fan of ACDC. I did show my drawing to Cybador :icondeviant-Cybador: he appeared to like them.

OK, seeing I'm writing this over the course of a week, I thought I'd let everyone know what's been up since the last paragraph. I just had my birthday. The date was Wednesday, September 17. The party was on Friday, September 19. My parents, friends and family, attended my bash at Round Table Pizza. Actually it was quite good. I enjoyed having my long related friends, Zack & Jeff Hardgrove in attendance. They gave me killer gifts! MTG cards! YES! I know...I'm a nerd, but hey, they will make my new multiplayer I'm working on evil to the point of glowing! It's perfect. I love playing mind games with my opponents. As for my other friends, Mat and Alicia Peterson I drove them from Oregon City to Lake Oswego (I had the party down in Portland so my cousin Faith, and our close family friends the Vasquez's could attend.). Alicia gave me the book of vile darkness and Forgotten Realms for D&D. These are expansion books intended as addons for the core rulebooks. Anyone familiar with D&D video games might remember the Forgotten Realm series associated with Neverwinter Nights. I got NN 2 but I can't seem to get the dam game to run. It looks like there is a coding error somewhere. I can't install it with the problems associated with Direct X. I hope I can. I bought the Gold edition and was hoping to play. The nice thing is if I run into something in the game I can always reference the book. -Evil Grin- Now if only I could play as Elminster. He's hardcore powerful! ^_^'

What else is new? Um...let me think. There's a possibility I may become a high school teacher next term. Part time of course, but I may begin teaching a computer class at an independent Christian High School. Eastside Academy. It looks to be very interesting. I'm going down Tuesday to check things out.

I'm also starting school tomorrow (Monday, September 22). I'm taking American Government, Japanese, and two badminton classes. I also play badminton on Monday nights. The only thing that concerns me is due to this summer, I've just not gotten the things done I wanted to. A sense of rejuvenation has overcome me, one that in the past I have not felt. Perhaps someone has been dumping Elixirs into my water, but if that isn't the case, I think my new found dedication to God is the cause. My biggest hardship has been overcoming a sense of resistance. I need to let go and accept what God is telling me. It comes down to my personal resistance, the tendency to do what I want, instead of what God wants. Conjoined with my tendency to feel the pressure to perform. I get stressed that I can't be all these things, I feel as though if I can't do all these different things: draw, paint, sing, play piano, play guitar, understand many works of philosophy, history, science, mathematics, be proficient at ceramics, sports, and many other things, that I will be wasting my God Gifted Talent. The only problem is, that act of pressure prevents me from doing anything.

My parents don't help the situation. Mom is always stressing me out. Mostly on account of my lack of homework skills. I think that's greatly due to my overall stress level. If you are so stressed out that you can't do anything, then how can you all those things? The act of wanting to do them prevents you from doing them. Kind of a paradox...

It's not all bad, however, my life is improving. Mom's laying off, and I'm working towards a better future for myself. I think the greatest achievement I've made is overcoming the obstacles of my past. Dealing with the rape, and the stress associated with it. I've started losing weight, I'm seeing my allergist tomorrow regarding immunization shots. Although I have to find my paperwork. -headdesk-

The biggest obstacle I'm considering this moment is Dev and Gaia. I feel terrible for all the friends I have. I seem to make them so easily but due to my time and lack of patience, I never seem to keep up with everyone. I guess I need to focus on telling you about my life so you can respond, instead of worrying about sending off individual PM's...I'm the personal type. I like to talk to people. I like conversing. I care about others and find great pleasure in letting them know I'm a human being who cares they exist.

I know that is obvious, but for those who I've emailed, or sent messages to, or just commented to, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry...Although, instead of trying the old system, and worrying about the consequences, I'm going to change the system. Instead of reworking my life in accordance with a set of preestablished doctrinal standards, I'm going to change the whole system. I'm going to set a time each week, perhaps Sunday, my Sabbath, and write my list of personals. You all are here, not necessarily for my art, but for my persons. It's the personality, Chris, the person to whom you keep returning, not necessarily the art. If it was the art then I'd be a blank page. It's my continuing progress in life, the development of the human being that we return to time and time again.

So, before I close, I want to thank everyone who has followed me down this path of memories, the emotional journey through life that keeps surprising me. Thank you everyone for all your hard work and dedication. I know how much you try to keep things moving. Your art, your life, your school. Everything and anything that brings hope and inspiration to your life, I pray will stay with you, will help to place an emotional bond of hope into the very fabric of your being, so that one day, when you least expect it, life will surprise you in magical and auspicious ways.

God Bless, and may your spirits be laid at peace with this wondrous world,

-Chris